The Beauty of Generational Discipleship

Who taught you to tie your shoes? Where did you learn about shaking hands confidently and looking someone in the eyes to show respect? Who was it that taught you how to wash dishes or to brush your teeth? We learn these valuable skills from watching and walking alongside people who have more experience than we do.

In the beginning of Titus chapter 2 we see instructions given to the church that the older men are to train up the younger men and the older women are to do the same with the younger women. This is what Paul wrote to Titus:  “But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.” (Titus 2:1-8)

This is a picture of the church operating as a family in how it approaches training up future generations. Following this example, you should be able to pick anyone in a church body and witness them being mentored by someone who has been walking with Christ for a longer period of time. This same individual would be able to point out someone younger they are walking alongside and pouring into. Both the younger believer and the older believer are spending intentional time together to facilitate spiritual growth. In this model, every person in the church has someone to look up to, and someone to pour into from the next generation. Or, at least, that’s the ideal.

But, is there an example of a church that does this perfectly? Of course not! This dynamic does not exist perfectly because every church is made up of sinners like you and me. Churches are full of people who are prone to self-protection and the pursuit of comfort. And, if we are protecting our time, we won't want to disrupt our schedule with extra engagements or the time it takes to disciple someone or to teach them new skills. If we value our carefully crafted image, we may not be willing to walk in a relationship that requires vulnerability and deep honesty about our struggles. If we value comfort, we may not be willing to patiently spend the time and energy it takes to build new relationships with younger and older believers.

Because this model of biblical mentorship is not being effectively employed in church (or in the individual life of believers), the question is, “Why?” Why isn’t this functioning the way that Paul explained it in Titus chapter 2? And, what can we do to fix it?

I believe these breakdowns are rooted in the issue of unbelief. We speak often at Heartland about the pervasive unbelief the can sometimes rule our hearts. When undesirable fruit is detected in our lives, our attention should immediately turn to the root of the issue… which is always a  matter of unbelief? We must ask ourselves, what are we believing about God or ourselves that is not true and that is producing this bad fruit in my life?

Where God reveals that our lives are not operating in step with the gospel, the answer must never be to try harder to live up to a standard or to work more to gain God’s approval. The answer must always be to pray and ask God to reveal the unbelief that is happening in the heart. Once that is discovered, we are able to repent and ask God to help us believe the truth. Only then do we have the ability to live out obedience to God with rightly motivated hearts.

So, regarding the generational discipleship to which we are called, obedience might look like being vulnerable and transparent with older saints who have walked with God longer than we have as we trust God to use that relationship to grow us. Simultaneously, obedience might look like stepping out in faith and pouring into a younger believer and risking rejection. Stepping out in this way forces us to be vulnerable and humble as we are dependent upon the Lord.

When we embrace this position of vulnerability, we are choosing not to rely on our own protective responses such as hiding our failures, or thinking we aren't qualified enough to offer anything of value. Instead, we are trusting God to use our imperfection (or lack of resources) for His glory and our good as He displays His strength through our weakness.

So, take some time to ask yourself some evaluative questions. Do you have someone you are spending intentional time with in order to pass on to them what God has taught you? Do you have an older Christian friend that you are able to learn from and glean wisdom from? If not, I would encourage you to spend some time in prayer as you ask God to provide a mentor. You can also ask God to reveal any ways where you are not trusting Him in this matter. You can ask God to reveal specific people that He has placed around you for this purpose. You may not get these answers right away, but as you seek God and desire to obey and follow His plans I am confident He will faithfully show you the way.


Jon Tegg
Pastor of Missions
Heartland Church